Where's My Damn Answer?

Really, Dad, I don’t think they call them cadillacs any more . . .

By lindaloohoo | June 26, 2009

So I was driving home from the eye doctor the other day and there was this guy on a motorcycle in front of me. The cool kind of guy with a big, beautiful Harley and a t-shirt that had a picture of a semi-naked woman and it said something like I got serviced at Bartlets. Or Bartels. Basically, I think he got’er done in a bar by a nice naked woman and don’t you wish I weren’t dyslexic so I could tell y’all where that bar is? Yeah, that kind of cool I’m not.

And his neat, post-servicing and all I got was this dumb t-shirt was blowing up in the back a little bit and I could see part of a HUGE tattoo on his lower back and it said . . . something. I was intrigued. But I couldn’t read it, so it was driving me crazy. I thought it must be something profound and thought provoking, cause he was clever enough to know it would only show when he was riding fast enough for his t-shirt to blow up.

Nope. I never did figure it out. I choose to believe he had the answer to the universe written on his back/buttcrack/taint. Whoa. Not sure why I went there, but now that I’m here, would the universe really explain itself on someone’s taint? Actually, now that I think about it, what more perfect place to hide a secret? Only the truly worthy would ever find it . . .

OR, he could have had the eye chart tattooed back there for all I know. Because evidently I can’t see that either. Turns out I have cataracts (not cadillacs, dad in heaven) in both eyes. Allegedly. Because the specialist hasn’t confirmed that yet.

So let’s not get upset or freak out or anything. No, no. Let’s not spend all night crying on the couch because when I sit outside with my four year old space nut, I can’t see the stars he’s talking about. Let’s not mourn the fact that I love to read almost more than I love to write and I can’t do either of those much any more. Definitely let’s not be scared by the thought of surgery on my eyes, or worse, being told I’m not a good candidate for surgery at all. NO. Let’s just take a deep breath and CALM DOWN people.

Oh, oh, but did I mention that I also have super-powers? It’s true. I am (indiscriminately annoy the hell out of hubunit) Supergirl. Because I’m from the planet human and he’s from the we’re-all-jerks-and-I’m-a-big-fat-man-ass planet. I don’t think he knows that yet. Can Supergirl save him . . . ?

Stay tuned.

PS: Or will she tie him up to a big net-draped wall, like Batman in the old TV show, and parade around in front of him like Catwoman did? In a vaguely threatening, yet completely alluring, and frankly, overtly sexual, way?

Seriously, stay tuned.

PPS: Oh, listen. Like everybody didn’t have wet dreams about that show. The masks, the tying up, the heavy breathing, the tights so tight-y under those swirly capes . . . Yeah, I bet you people never gave yourself knee hickeys or hovered over the drain in the bathtub as the water funneled out either. Riiiiiiight.

Posted in Mirror Mirror on the Wall, The Land of Confusion, Wine-Whine-Bitch | Tagged cataracts, daily life, harley davidson, humor, husband, Wife | 6 Comments | Leave a DAMN Comment here

Summer’s Here!

By jodycakes | June 25, 2009

June 21st marks the Summer Solstice…Mr. G’s birthday…well, and great fresh summer fruit.

I picked up the most gorgeous blueberries at the market and decided to make Blueberry Buckle.

Mmm...blueberry buckle! Summer's Here!

Strangely enough, this evening’s Good Eats with Alton Brown, was on BLUEBERRIES…and even more serendipitous, he made a buckle. I decided on his recipe, with a few adaptations.

Nonstick cooking spray
9 ounces cake flour, approximately 2 cups
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon fresh nutmeg ( my adaptation)
2 ounces unsalted butter, room temperature
5 1/4 ounces sugar, approximately 3/4 cup
1 large egg
1/2 cup buttermilk (my adaptation - Whole Milk can be used instead)
15 ounces fresh whole blueberries, approximately 3 cups

For the topping:

3 1/2 ounces sugar, approximately 1/2 cup
1 1/2 ounces cake flour, approximately 1/3 cup
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
2 ounces unsalted butter, chilled and cubed

For the cake:

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Spray a 9 by 9-inch glass baking dish with nonstick spray and set aside.

In a medium mixing bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt and ground ginger. Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, with the paddle attachment, beat together the butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, approximately 1 minute. Add the egg and beat until well incorporated, approximately 30 seconds. Add 1/3 of the flour mixture and beat on low speed just until incorporated and then add 1/3 of the milk and beat until incorporated. Repeat, alternating flour and milk until everything has combined. Gently stir in the blueberries and pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish.

Wet Ingredients for Blueberry Buckle

Mix those lovelies into the batter...

For the topping:

In a small bowl combine the sugar, flour and nutmeg. Add the butter and work into the dry ingredients using a fork to combine. Continue until the mixture has a crumb-like texture. Sprinkle the mixture on top of the cake.

Blueberry Buckle...I prolly woulda let it stay in a few more!

Bake on the middle rack of the oven for 35 minutes or until golden in color. Cool for at least 10 minutes before serving.

So easy you can put this together first thing in the morning and enjoy with a nice, hot cup of joe!

Posted in Feeding A Food Obsession, No clue where this fits | Tagged Alton Brown, blueberries, blueberry buckle, food network, summer fruit | 4 Comments | Leave a DAMN Comment here

Who’s in DA Damn House Wednesday - Sharron from Sports Breather

By Guest Blogger | June 24, 2009

Sharron has been a guest blogger in da DAMN house before, and always lively. As I had mentioned before she not only is a kick ass business woman running her Sports Breather business, but does yoga 3 times a week and makes a mean meatloaf. And well, she’s my mom. And I absolutely adore her, so she’s throwing caution to the wind this week and asking you guys a couple of DAMN questions about dating - let’s see what advice we can help her out with!

Where have all the young men gone?

Or perhaps should I ask, “Where have all the old men gone?”

The old Pete Seeger folk song from the 60’s says “gone to graveyards, every one”. But the song was referring to the Viet Nam war.

The challenges of dating are many, at any age. At 65, they are daunting.

Here are just a few examples of what I have had to contend with:

First of all, the pool of available men in this age bracket is SO small it is almost nonexistent. And, of course, at this age, women outnumber men by an amazing number. Many of the men have died of early heart attacks, and any number of other ailments and calamities.

And for sure, the Viet Nam war did claim a lot of them…then and even now, it still does. One of the things to beware of is someone who is still living that horror. And believe me, they are out there.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, is an ongoing and horrible thing for the men suffering it, but, at this point in my life, I just don’t need to deal with someone with this problem. May sound harsh, but well…

One of my first questions for any possible relationship is “Were you in the service?” Then I proceed to gently probe some more and sometimes decide against a second date.

Recently, I met a very nice guy who was a Marine who served in Viet Nam. He walked point during the war and saw many awful things. One of the worst stories that he told me was when he and some others returned to San Francisco in 1968, and people threw apples and other garbage at them anc called them “baby killers”.

Also, many of the available men have so things wrong with them physically, that they are just looking for someone to take care of them for the next 20 years…….No thanks.

And if you can believe it…there are a huge number of men in this age bracket that are channeling Marlon Brando in “The Wild One”. The number of pictures that I see, on the dating websites, of men on motorcycles with the full beard and pony tail is amazing. Most with a huge gut hanging over their belt. It just makes you wonder who they think will find them appealing.

I actually had an email from a guy who looked like the one of the long bearded guys from ZZ Top. Heck, maybe it was…and maybe I should have answered him! Naw, he probably spent all his money on drugs in the 70’s.

A few other things to make you think twice before getting even marginally involved - He’s never been married??? What? At this age??? Or, married 3 or 4 times…whoops! (What’s the story there…) Well, if all the wives are dead, why? And if all have been through divorce - I find myself saying “Oh my, really scary.” And my only thought is “What is really wrong with you?”

So, my question to you, dear WMDA readers are “Where have all the old men gone?” and “What’s a girl to do?”

Posted in No clue where this fits, Who's In Da DAMN House Wednesday? | Tagged Dating after 60, dating horror stories, http://www.health-fitness-center.com, Marlon Brando, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Sports Breather, Veterans, vietnam | 7 Comments | Leave a DAMN Comment here

Someone throw me an oar … and a can of whoop ass while you’re at it.

By Kristy Nuttall | June 23, 2009

So yeah … last week pretty much was a TEST for me. Someone thought it’d be fun to pile more than ever on me to see just how strong my backbone was.

The first part of my week was just plain busy … well more than plain … more like crazy busy. Then Tuesday night came and I was too tired to cook. So I conned talked Ron into going out for Chinese food for dinner because I was too tired to whip up something fabulous for dinner.

We had a wonderful dinner at a new Chinese Restaurant that we hadn’t tried. Seemed my luck was turning … but really … not so much. I guess my first clue should have been when I got this fortune in my fortune cookie, “A thrilling time is in your immediate future.”

Oh … it was thrilling alright. :: eye roll ::

We came home and I went to the office to finish up a few things before I was “done” for the night and the office (our garage) was flooded. The water heater was leaking and we’re not talking just a little trickle. We spent the next couple of hours sopping up water.

Luckily, we do still have our home warranty. Each year we discuss whether or not it’s worth renewing it. We JUST decided we should let it ride and renew again because like poker, you gotta know when to hold them.

We called our home warranty company and they said that they would send someone out to our house the next day. So as if Wednesday wasn’t screwed enough … now the plumber was coming out. GREAT! Luckily, Ron decided to step in and deal with that portion because Cathy and I were committed to fill in for Karena on Today’s Woman radio show.

Long story short, we learned something really important which is why I’m even writing about this. The home warranty company just reports that there is a problem and the first company that responds gets the job. Sometimes you are lucky … and sometimes you are not. We got a company that was trying to screw us by charging for things that were a lie. So … things I learned about fixing a water heater in Santa Clarita:

You don’t need to pay $200 to the plumbing company to pull the permit to replace your water heater. You can go to the City and get the permit yourself for $44. Literally, it took Ron 10 minutes to do it.
You don’t have to have a double walled vent from the top of the water heater … the ONLY place it needs to be double is where it crosses the wall of the garage (or your foundation).
You shouldn’t be charged to re-route a pipe for water from the side to the top of the tank to the wall … the code says that you can route it wherever the spout is on the water heater.
You don’t HAVE to pay to dispose of the water heater when the City will come out and remove it for you for free once a year. You just have to wheel it to the curb and make a phone call to Berman to pick it up - for FREE.
If you have any questions about the quote you received, you should take the break down on prices to the City Bldg & Safety or Works and ask to speak with a manager. They were very kind to talk to us and tell us that we were in fact being charged too much.
You don’t HAVE to have the plumber that was quick enough to get the job do the work. Once they give the estimate to the home warranty company, you can opt to “cash out” on that item and the home warranty company will send you a check for the amount of the water heater only - the amount they were going to pay the plumbing company to purchase the water heater … but then you can have someone you trust do the job and not give any business to a business who is not 100% honest.

There are a lot of companies who lie and cheat to try to make more money because people trust them to tell them what needs to be done. I think the key is to not be afraid to ask questions … or to even pick up the phone while they are there and tell them you are calling the City to ask what the code really is. The guy that was here from a company in the Valley told us that a lot of things needed to be done because that’s “current code” and that was bullshit.

In the end, Ron and I ended up going with our friends at Plumbing by Kirk. Thanks Kirk and team - you guys ROCK! They came out and installed it without problems. They explained the charges they had for us … and confirmed that the other company was overcharging for a lot of things. I think we’re like a lot of people, we don’t mind paying for a service that needs to be done (even though we may wince as we write the check), but when we find out that we’re being screwed … it doesn’t sit well. Personally, I don’t want to do business with people who lie to create more opportunities to make money.

As I mentioned, I happened to be on air on Wednesday afternoon and shared my story when Cathy asked, “so what’s new” - haha. We received a few emails asking for help in similar situations so I thought maybe it’d be good to talk about it here too.

If you found this in a search, I hope that maybe this post will help you find your voice and not be afraid to ask the questions that you need to :D.