Basketball season is upon us and I find I become a taxi driver more than normal.  Zac has games and/or practices just about every day.  The Foothill League starts next week and I’ve been having SO much fun at the tournaments to get the boys ready.  I’m truly digging being a part of his high school basketball experience even more than I have the travel team.

Last night we were invited to go to a Pepperdine vs. Miami game so we headed out to Malibu to check it out.  Those players are HUGE and it’s hard to believe that our lil skinny twig son will eventually be THAT big.  Yes … I do know that he’ll continue to grow with our without my blessing

Obviously I have spent A LOT of time in the stands and have first hand knowledge of ALL types of “Sports Moms (& Dads)”.  It got me to thinking yesterday when I noticed a woman with her face stickers on.  There are ALL different types of parents on and off the field, but parents with children in youth sports are interesting.  So I came up with a list of different types of sports moms and dads that I have experienced … good … and bad – haha.

• The Ideal Parent
• The “I’ll be right back” or eh … “whatever” parent
• The extremely competitive parent
• The ‘living through your kids’ parent
• The overly outspoken parent
• The ‘coach’ parent
• The negative or critical parent
• The ‘My child is a superstar’ parent

There are plenty of benefits of youth sports for children but those children come with parents who can be a blessing or a curse.  There are obviously the good and the bad parental involvement in youth sports within this list and we ALL fit into at least one of these categories if not multiple categories.

The Ideal Parent

This is the type of parent that is truly there to support their child in and out of the athletic setting.  They encourage, respect and are enthusiastic regarding the effort their child is putting forth.  They don’t belittle their child when they do something wrong in the game.  They also show up to the majority of the practices and/or games on time.  They help other kids on the team who may need a ride or pay for another child on the team to be able to eat pizza with their teammates.  The ideal parent also stands behind the majority of the coaching decisions that are made.  They may not agree with the coaches philosophy 100% of the time but they allow their child to learn and play within the coaches system without interfering.

We all know these parents – they are the ones that talk to all the other parents on a regular basis, the ones who offer to help and the ones with kids who are happily playing their sport.

The “I’ll be right back” or eh … “whatever” parent

This is the type of parent that doesn’t care whether their child is really involved.  Little Johnny said he wanted to play so they paid the registration fee to get them enrolled, but doesn’t really mind if they can’t get to the practices (or the game for that matter).  When they do get their kid to practice they will drop them off and head to the nearest Starbucks to kill time while the child practices.  They rarely interact with a coach or other parents.  This parent doesn’t truly support or criticize their child .. but they also don’t ask about their progress or push them to try harder.

The extremely competitive parent

Ok we all knot that SOME people are naturally competitive and have a hard time shutting that off.  This could come from their own sports days, or they may have just developed a streak in them that gives them the desire to be better than others at all costs. A competitive parent isn’t usually a problem – unless their competitive spirit boils over into boisterous or obnoxious. The extremely competitive parent places winning above everything … win at all costs mentality.  This parent has a hard time understanding why THEIR child doesn’t exhibit the same “must win” attitude.

The ‘living through your kids’ parent

Oh, how we have all seen these parents living through their kids (and it’s not just in sports).  Athletes are always athletes, and when we see the athlete in our children, many parents want to see their children advance as far as they can (especially if they themselves couldn’t).  They can usually be overheard telling their child, “when I played, I always did this.”  They can also get upset with their child if they don’t put forth the same effort they were expected to put in to achieve greatness.  The “living through your kids” parent will often say, “well, that’s not the way I used to do it”.  This can be exaggerated even more if the sport the child is playing is the same as the one they also played.  Many of these parents are trying to realize dreams that didn’t come to fruition for themselves and push their child even harder because they feel that they should succeed.

The overly outspoken parent

This parent is one that is not afraid to say what is on their mind … even if it’s not their place to say it.  Most coaches would do themselves a favor by embracing this parent and getting them on their “team” from the getgo.  It’s much better to be WITH them than AGAINST them.  If they don’t like the way their child is performing in the sport, they may embarass their child in front of the other children because of their outspoken nature.  They will not hesitate to tell a coach that they don’t agree with their style.  They can also cause friction with other parents, players and especially with their own child.  Coaches need to have a muzzle ready for this one.  In short, the overly outspoken parent is a wildcard.  They can be good and bad.

The ‘coach’ parent

The ‘coach’ parent can be destructive to different team members, because they may try to undermine what the coaches are teaching. The ‘coach’ parent is especially dangerous if they have a high level of achievement in a sport.  In this parent, you may not see as much from the parent as you may see in the child. Most of the ‘coaching’ is done when the real coaches aren’t around. Then, the real coaches will end up seeing it on the practice field, or in a game situation.  If something goes wrong with the team they will be the first to say what SHOULD have been done differently.  The ‘coach’ parent may tell their child how they think they should be playing and sometimes that is not in line with what the real coaches are teaching the child. Afterall, the real coach could have youth sports coach certification whereas the ‘coach’ parent could have just their own experience.

The ‘coach’ parent can be a good thing if their coaching philosophy is the same as the real coaches and sometimes will be brought on in order to avoid potential conflicts – keep your friends close but your enemies even closer

The negative or critical parent

The negative or critical parents really don’t like much, and if they do like something you can bet there is something about it they still some detail they don’t like.  A good example of a negative or critical parent would be one who loved that their child’s team scored, but then immediately complained about the play call – saying that they wouldn’t have called that play in that situation. Despite the positive outcome, the negative or critical parent will find something wrong with it.  The negative or critical parent will put other players down (and sometimes even their own child) when they make a mistake.  They will find a way to complain about just about anything … regardless if it’s positive or negative.  This parent is a hard one to deal with in the mix because nothing can be done right – coaching sucks, team sucks … everything sucks.

The ‘My child is a superstar’ parent

Watch out! The ‘my child is a superstar’ parent can either be a gem or a gigantic pain in the ass. The ideal parent from above who truly believes their child is a superstar can be one of the biggest and best supporters. They will do whatever they can to make your team as good as possible, so their son or daughter can play on the best team.

However, there are the pain in the ass ‘my child is a superstar’ parents that can be a recipe for disaster.  Those are the parents that will push for their child to be a “starter” even when they clearly are not.  They will always complain that their child isn’t getting enough playing time.  They will put down other kids or the coaching staff.  They won’t volunteer for things because they think that their child contributes enough for everyone. Remember … all the kids on the team can be superstars together … especially if they learn to play together as a team and not as a lone superstar.

So … now that you’ve read all about the types … which one are you?  Are you one type … or are you an amalgam of a few?