No Stork, Just Beautiful Butterflies

Today had the feel of any ordinary day at Casa Lindaloohoo.  Normal, everyday things going on.  Hubunit left very early for work, monkey was recovering from a little fever and I had to finish my on-line traffic school.

Now, since our move back to sunny California, I find myself living in my own land of inertia, unable or unwilling to muster the energy that I once had to accomplish even small goals.  Like showering.  I’ve been putting things off, wrapping the mantle of procrastination around my shoulders like an old familiar friend.

Part of this is that we are in a rental house and I’m in decorating and organizing withdrawals.  It’s a small house, charming and very nice, but definitely small and there is a lack of storage space.  So it’s constantly a mess.  And we sold most of our furniture before leaving upstate New York, which means we are making due with what is left until we buy a new house.

I think that the unsettled-at-home feeling is part of my issue.  But I think another big part of this down time, is just that.  I’m recharging.  It’s been a whirlwind several years and I’ve finally put my hand up, looked in the mirror and said to myself ‘Hey there.  Hi.  Remember me?’  Laundry and roadtrips and JOKING aside, Hubunit has been very understanding of my need for this time.

And then TODAY, which really was just like any other day, was the day that leaves me sitting here crying while I write this and feeling like the biggest weight has dropped away from my heart.  A weight that I didn’t even realize was there. 

Because TODAY was the day that I filled out a certain form for the last time.  TODAY was the last day I will ever have to tape pictures to a piece of paper as proof that we are a happy family.  TODAY was the day that I made photo copies of that form and those pictures and put them in the mail for THE VERY LAST TIME. 

Because TODAY was the LAST day Hubunit and I will ever be required to submit ANYTHING to someone else regarding our son’s adoption.

We celebrated monkey’s third anniversary home with us about a month ago and that was a great day.  It’s hard to believe that three years have passed since we flew to Guatemala, held our son so tightly in our arms and then flew home as a family.

But today.  Ahhh.  Today.  I can’t even describe the feeling that hit me as I was making photocopies of our three year report and it dawned on me that this is the last time I’ll be doing ANY paperwork for this process, EVER AGAIN.  

Those of you who have been on any adoption journey, let alone an international adoption journey, you know how I feel.  Our son is so very precious to us and we have been down such a long and amazing road to find him, to meet him, to fall in love with him.  Tonight as I tucked him into his bed, the bed which is wearing the WALL*E sheets that his Daddy ran to the store to find for him yesterday as a surprise, I looked at his sweet little Curious George face and was completely overwhelmed. 

When we were preparing to leave for a visit to Guatemala to meet our son for the first time over three years ago, we still lived here in Southern California.  And that April there was an unusual natural event going on.  There was a very large migration of butterflies that flew over our house for a couple of days.  There were THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of them fluttering everywhere around me and I remember standing outside in our yard, next to my rose bushes which were gorgeously fragrant and in full bloom and I just remember looking up into the sky at these amazing butterflies and feeling so blessed to be witness to such a miracle of beauty.

While we were in Guatemala we wanted to purchase some memento’s to keep for our son from his birth country.  So we wandered into the hotel gift shop and fell in love with all the beautiful items in there.  We purchased several things and as we were leaving, hubunit happened to look up at the ceiling by the door.  There, perched as if frozen in flight, were the most beautiful paper mache butterflies, floating over our heads.  Every size and color.  It was magic. 

Of course we purchased as many as we could fit into our suitcase and from that day on, we’ve always said that it was not the stork who brought our son to us, but the butterflies.

TODAY while sitting out in our backyard watching monkey chase bubbles around the lawn, I felt something tickle my bare shoulder.  I looked down and there was a tiny little butterly perched ever so lightly on my skin.  I laughed and brushed him away without even realizing that he knew something that hadn’t dawned on me yet. 

I like to think that my butterfly knew that TODAY was far from an ordinary day.  TODAY was SPECIAL.