Heaven sent

My three year old has recently decided that bedtime is the 5th ring of hell.  He fights it with every fiber in his sturdy little body. 

The journey to hell is a long one that begins with bathtime, veers into brushing his teeth and continues with drying off & putting lotion on his screaming, wildly wriggling and damp body.  Next comes getting pajamas on his now slippery, screaming, wildly wriggling, nearly impossible to hold body.  This part also has the added bonus of picking out a shirt to wear and invariably the one he wants is in the laundry.  Things really ramp up when he actually needs to put his body in the bed.  That head spinning, projectile vomiting Linda Blair has nothing on a sleep crazed three year old. 

After reading the obligatory books, current favorite is ‘I Love You So’by Marianne Richmond, which I begin reading thru clenched teeth but am a mush ball by the end, and the all time favorite, ‘Miko, Mom Wake Up and Play!’by Brigitte Weninger, which I know by heart and can speed read in a minute flat, I turn the lights out.

Then I stagger from his room, crawl to the couch and the chocolate covered raisins waiting there.  I sit in the dark and ponder the following questions;  What am I doing wrong?  Am I a complete failure as a mom?  Would it help if I wore two or even three hormone replacement patches at one time? 

After spending the night wondering how I can survive one more day,  the alarm rings and it’s morning.  Suddenly I hear the whisper of little feet on the carpet.  Monkey comes around to my side of the bed, but I pretend to be asleep.  He rushes to the other side and pulls himself up.  Snuggling under the covers with me, I hear his little voice whisper, ‘Mama.  I cuddle.’   My heart grows a size.

Last night was particularly trying and this morning, while snuggling under the ‘comfy, cozy’ blankets, he turned to me and started his wookie talk ‘ woodda, woooda, wooda, power rangers, wooda wooodda, wooda, Mico the RED POWER RANGER, wooda woda.  And then suddenly I realized he was repeating one of the verses from the ‘I Love You So’ book:  (I’ve prefaced it with the verse that preceedes the one he quoted)

( . . . I love you as steady as the earth rounds the sun, though some days of life are the farthest from fun . . . )

‘Like when you feel mad?  you ask with distress, cause I’ve broken the rules or made a big mess?’

 I turn over to see his sweet face looking at me with a solemn stare, filled with big, chocolate brown eyes and I think to myself, he looks just like Curious George brought to life.   He is so perfect and good and, instantly, I feel rested and whole again. 

Starting the morning in Heaven is what makes the eventual journey thru hell survivable and sometimes, so much more